Why? your Needs, Feelings, Help a little, Guilty? Pleasing, Self-Esteem, Teach, Continuance, Celebrate & Analyze.
Just say “NO” Quotes:
“You have to learn to say “No” without feeling guilty, setting boundaries is healthy. You need to learn to respect and take care of yourself.”
“It is simple to say “No” when your priorities are in order and you stick to them.”
“It’s only by saying “No” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs
“I refuse to please others at the expense of my emotional well-being. Even if it means saying “No” to people who are used to hearing “yes.”
“Say “No” to those that would use you – out of strength instead of “Yes” out of weakness.”
“Sometimes you have to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.”
“When you say “Yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “No” to yourself 7 your Goals.”
”What? How do you stop saying YES, when you honestly just want to say NO? Well, it’s NOt easy. I used to have a lot of trouble with it. o I’d become frustrated & angry with myself & others who had asked me about a favor or help – while at the same time working on someone else’s Goals instead of my own and wasting too much time & energy on that.
How? Things simply had to change. So I set out a few years ago to learn how to become better at saying NO. Here’s 10 of the best Tips, Habits &Strategies I learned.
First, keep in mind, Why you’re saying NO.
When you are about to say NO, remember why you are doing it. Focus on the positive things it will open up in your life such as more time for your family, for your writing or other hobby or simply for relaxing so your stress levels will go down.
Because you need to say NO to things to be able to say YES to the things you want out of your life (there isn’t enough time and more importantly energy to do it all). This positive motivation will help you to go through with your decision even if it feels tough.
One simple way to keep your focus on what’s important in your life both when you need to say NO and to just stay on track and nott get distracted in your daily life is to ask yourself this:
Q What are the top 3-5 Priorities in my life right now?
It could be spending more quality time with your children, spouse, your hobby, etc. Write those top 3-5 Priorities down on a Post it-Note, top of your To-Do list or as a daily reminder in your smart phone (I use the Google Keep app for the reminders on my phone). This will keep your attention consistently on what truly matters to you.
Kindly turn it down, then state your need/s.
It becomes easier for people to accept your NO, if you kindly explain to them first. You could – for example – do that by saying that “I am flattered and I appreciate your kind offer”. And be honest about whatever you say. Then you can, for instance, add that you do not have the time for accepting and doing what they want, because you have other higher priorities and don’t have the time now.
Add how you Feel about it.
Some pushy people might want to overcome your objections and convince you to do something even if you first say NO with a valid reason. Then try this: state how you feel as a reason for saying NO.
For example say that you do not feel that this request is a good fit for your life right now; or that you feel overwhelmed or your plate is already more than full and so you can-not do whatever they want; that you feel you truly have to keep all your focus on your main project right now.
The point of telling someone how you feel is not only to make them understand your side of the issue better, but also that it is a lot harder to argue with how you feel rather than how you think.
Help out a Little, if possible.
Don’t leave the conversation – where you’re saying NO in positive way. See if you can help out a bit. Recommend someone that has the time, you think would be a better fit or could help in better way than you can. I do this pretty often when a reader or someone in my life needs help I can’t provide or knowledge that I lack.
If you feel a bit Guilty – that’s OK.
But just because you feel a bit guilty – because you said NO – doesn’t mean that you have to act on that emotion. Just be with it instead. When you are with that emotion and allow it to simply be, then after a little while, it will start to lose steam and become smaller & smaller – so you can move on.
Simply realize that you can’t Please some people.
The fact is that with some people you just can’t win. They won’t be pleased. No matter what you do. Because it’s not about you with this person. It’s about him or her. It’s about him being in an unhappy relationship or being dragged down by money worries or about having a sick pet, being tired of your job or that they don’t have good chemistry with you. Realizing this and that you can’t get everyone to like you – no matter if you say YES every single time – can help you to put a stop to your people pleasing habit and to start focusing more on what you – deep down want to say YES or NO to.
Improve your Self-Esteem.
If you don’t value yourself, then you won’t value your time very much either. This has been very true in my experience. The most powerful thing I have found – besides keeping my attention consistently on what truly matters to me – to make it easier to say NO was to improve my own self-esteem. With better self-esteem the time & energy I have – has become a lot more valuable to me and I do not want to waste it. And my sense of what I deserve in life has also gone up and I’m much less tolerant of or likely to give in to other people’s negative ways of persuasion. Like guilt-tripping, being really pushy or simply trying to take advantage of me !!!
Reminder: you Teach people how to treat you – by how you behave.
This is one powerful reason why it’s important to say NO when you need to. Because if you’re assertive about what you don’t want – by standing up for yourself and saying NO, then people will understand that. Over time, you will encounter fewer & fewer situations where people try to be pushy or steamroll you. This will make life & relationships simpler and more respectful. By being assertive you’ll also improve your own self-esteem.
Realize that the World will go on.
Remember that just because you say NO to somebody doesn’t mean that the world will stop. They will find someone else that can do what they want and they’ll manage + life will go on for both of you. So don’t let a feeling of being almost irreplaceable – or words to that effect – influence you into saying YES – when you really want to say NO. That has led many people down a path of resentment, anger and in some cases eventually into being burned out.
Celebrate & analyze your Successes.
You may not be able to say NO to everything you’d like to say NO to in your life – even if you use several of the tips in this article. Don’t put too much focus on those situations though. It will only bring your self-esteem & motivation to cultivate the NO-habit down. Learn what you can from them and then move on. Focus mostly on your successes. You may just have said NO in one or a few small ways this week. That is still something new & great in your life – so feel good about it. Pat yourself on the back and celebrate in some small way what you have accomplished and how you have grown as a person. Think a bit about what went well in those interactions and what you can learn from them for the future (and repeat to get the result you want).
Comments: Do you know any other Techniques or Reasons to say NO?
from Positivity Blog 5/21 enhanced by Peter/CXO
For more Info, click on Negotiating.