“Being instantly likable isn’t easy when you’re not little baby or a cute animal. science. Practice using this checklist to quickly master the art of making a good first impression, because “You never get a 2nd Chance to make a good 1st Impression”.
Success Topics: show Enthusiasm, Compliment, ask Questions, Body Language, Share common, offer Help, say their Name again.
Why? What’s the point of networking if not to get other people to like you? Sure, you need new contacts to see you as interesting, competent, professional, & potentially of value to them—but if they don’t also find you “likable”, nobody will feel motivated to reach out later and work with you.
Emotional Intelligence: that set of skills & qualities that allow people to form deeper, closer relationships with others. Like-ability is a key ingredient in that, and its benefits should be obvious. For instance, being likable—and liking your co-workers or team in return—can increase your chances of success.
Limited Time. But when it comes to first impressions, you usually don’t have much time to get people to like you. So here are a few easy things that the most emotionally intelligent people do to lock-in their like-ability from that first meeting:
1. Show “genuine” Enthusiasm for Meeting them
. . . especially in important situations, (of non- or profit organizations). Don’t be to abrupt or serious while making introductions. That might feel formal & appropriate, but it’s not always the most “emotionally intelligent” thing to do. Neither is laying it on too thick with a forced grin and over-the-top proclamations about how absolutely wonderful it is to meet.
Just be Natural. Pretend you’re meeting a friend’s new significant other at a social occasion. Give your best, authentic smile, make eye contact, & offer a firm handshake. That’s will do it. It’s that easy.
2. Offer a Compliment
If you notice something about the person you’ve just met that you can compliment them about, do it right away. Maybe there’s a recent accomplishment you’re aware of, that you could mention. If not, ask a question or two that can lead to information you can later compliment them on.
Listen First, because “emotionally intelligent” people are great listeners right from the moment they make acquaintances. They know that most people love to talk about themselves and will like & appreciate anybody who’ll earnestly listen. The problem is that most of the time—especially in the moment or two after meeting someone—we’re too busy thinking about our own responses and can’t wait for the next opportunity to jump in. This tendency is natural, and it sometimes gets worse when we’re nervous.
Be a Whiz at the Quiz. Treat the first 5 minutes after meeting somebody as a challenging Quiz session: Pretend you’re being tested to see how much you can find out about the new acquaintance. When 5 minutes are up, you’ll have to write an essay about everything you’ve just learned, and the more information you include, the higher your score.
3. Ask a couple of Open-Ended Questions
It’s okay to start with small talk, but conversations often die quickly or turn into monologues when they aren’t propelled forward by good questions. When someone starts talking about something they enjoy, use that as an opening to ask more: “How did you get into that?” “What do you like most about it?” Since it’s something they’re clearly dying to talk about it, don’t just ask “yes/no” or simple “factual” questions that might reduce their opportunity to really get into it.
Double or you get Nothing. Aim for at least two open-ended questions within the first few minutes of striking up a chat with somebody you’ve just met. That should be enough to get a good, in-depth conversation going. On a sub-conscious level, you’ll quickly become somebody they remember liking and will want to be around.
4. Have an “open” Body Language
. . . so you look more approachable and more open to diverse ideas, which will instantly make people like you more. If you want a new person to connect with you immediately, then you should turn your body toward that person, stand tall, and show a strong interest with what that person is saying – without coming on too strong.
5. Find something you can Share in common.
(+) If in their office, check their desk & wall for things they really care about. Then ask them some knowledge-able questions about it, to try to connect on something you both like (ie, hobbies, sports, common events, technology – to find common interests.
This will create a good rapport. or . . .
(-) Have you ever spoken with someone and found them distracted, glancing around the room or maybe fiddling with something on their desk while you were speaking? If you did, there’s a slim chance you came away really liking them afterward. In order to make someone feel like they’re getting your full attention, you obviously need to focus on them exclusively. But you also try to find an interest or belief you both share.
The most emotionally intelligent people know that it’s easiest to connect with people they’ve found something in common with. These commonalities might not always be obvious, tho’. You have to look for them.
Conversational Openings are really simple, but not always obvious, just after meeting someone. Pay attention to what makes somebody light up, become more animated, or sit up straight. These little cues are easy to catch early on in your conversation. They can make for great opportunities to quickly find commonalities, passions, & ideas to talk about in those crucial first few minutes while we’re forming first impressions.
6. Find a way to “Help” the person out.
Another way to make connections is to find a way to help the person you want to connect with. You may have to think “outside-the-box” a bit and to find something you can do that doesn’t directly have to do with your work.
Example: If you know the person is writing a Book in your industry or profession, then you can offer to give feedback on it because of your similar backgrounds.
Get Creative. Don’t think that you have nothing to offer to new contacts. Just because you’re trying to network, you still have plenty of skills & abilities that can benefit other people in a variety of ways. Just be creative in what you can offer and you’ll probably have a new, fantastic experience.
7. Say their Name before you leave
. . . and commit Key Facts to Memory [before you’re commited. LoL]. Everybody loves the sound of their own name. Say it when you first meet someone; then sprinkle it throughout the conversation whenever you get the chance. At a minimum, make sure to say their name when you’re about to leave: From “Really great meeting you, Aaron.” to “Thanks for chatting, Mark, let’s be in touch Zak.”
Strengthening your “Like-ability”. Finally, emotionally intelligent people “reinforce” the like-ability they’ve started during first impressions by remembering a few key details later on. The names of a new acquaintance’s partner, kids, even the pets they have or that vacation recommendation they shared or other even they’ve attended. That’s all useful information to refer back to the next time you see them. It’ll help you stand out in their memory, and make them look forward to connecting with you again—because for some reason or other, they find that they just like you.
Comments: Do yiou know any other things to do when you first meet a person?
from FastCompany.com Zine 17 July 17 enhanced by Peter/CXO Wiz4biz
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