Humorous Business Quotes

Collected by Peter/CXO Wiz4biz 1/16. I think you’ll laff & learn from these !!!

1. “The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided.” Casey Stengel, Hall of Fame, NY Yankees Manager

2 “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” Henry Ford, Motor Co.

3 “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise”. Ted Turner, Broadcaster

4 “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it”. Bob Hope

5 “Getting it done, is better than getting it perfect.” Sheryl_Sandberg,Google

6 “There’s no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can’t do any business from there”. Colonel Sanders KFC

7 “Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats before they get it. Howard Aiken, Computer Pioneer

8 “We were hoping to build a small profitable company; and of course, what we’ve done is build first was a large, unprofitable company* with lots of customers. Jeff Bezos, Amazon * Now profitable.

9 “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns & tequila.
Mitch Ratliffe, Tech Author

10 “We don’t have a monopoly. We have market share. There’s a difference.” Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft
[ If you believe that, I have some stock I’d like to sell you – Wiz4biz ]

11“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, strike like lightning.” Sun Tzu, The Art of War

12 “You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” Steve Jobs, Apple

13 “The best way to predict your future is to create it” Abraham Lincoln

14 “Anyone who believes that exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world is either a madman or an investor.” Google

15 “There’s no luck in business. There’s only creativity, passion & persistence”. Bill Gates, MicroSoft

16 “The business of business is people, not products or services. Take care of the people, and the people will take care of you.” Jarod_Kintz, Author

17 “Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves it s amazing what they can accomplish.” Sam Walton, WalMart

18 “The purpose of business is to create and keep a customer.” Peter Drucker, Biz Guru, Author

19 “If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want. ” Zig Zigler, Motivation Author

20 “Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.” – Andrew Young, Politician

21 “If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem”. J. Paul Getty, Billionaire

22 “The company accountant is shy & retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring”. Milton Berle, Comedian

23 “Business is a game, played for fantastic stakes, and you’re in competition with experts. If you want to win, you have to learn to be a master of the game.” Sidney_Sheldon, Entertainment Writer

24 “Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.” – Sloan Wilson, Writer

25 “The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into work.” Robert Frost, Poet

26 “Persistence. Perfection. Patience. Power. Prioritize your passion. It keeps you sane.” Criss_Jami, Poet

27 “We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight. Milton Berle, Comedian

28 “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value – make a contribution.” Albert Einstein

29 “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” Margaret Thatcher, Prime Minister England

30 “Only one man in 100 is a leader of men–the other 99 follow women.” Groucho Marx, Comedian of the 1950s

31 “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vidal Sassoon, Cosmetics Co.

32 I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach; perfection is God’s business.” – Michael J. Fox, Actor

Comments: Do you have any Humourous or Wise Quotes you could add?