Top Terminology of Engineers

What they say versus what they mean !!!

from Aha Jokes.com 10/13 enhanced by Peter/CXO Wiz4biz 1/14

A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.)

We are doing close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together once.)

An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We just hired three whiz kids out of school, cause it’s too boring for us.)

We’ve had a major technological Break-through !!! (We can’t believe it works OK; but I think we can convince others.)

We’re sure the Customer will be satisfied. (We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up. when we tried to power it up.)

Test results were extremely gratifying! (We’re amazed that it actually worked!)

The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who understood the thing quit.)

It is “in-process”. (It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.)

We will look into it. (Maybe one day, when we’re bored out of our gourd, and can’t think of anything better to do.)

Please Review & Initial these results. (We want to spread the blame, so we don’t take all the heat.)

Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We’ll listen to what you have to say, as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.)

Give us your interpretation of what happened. (We can’t wait to hear your excuses.)

See me or let’s discuss. (Come to my office, you’ve messed up again.)

All new. (Parts are not inter-changeable with previous design. We’re trying to “lock-out” the competitions & leaches)

Robust! (We dropped it on the floor & it didn’t break, so it must be.)

Rugged or was it rigged? (Don’t plan to test it too extensively, it might drown. Actually, Marketing thought saying Rugged, would sell more units.)

Light Weight. (You don’t break your back, lifting it.)

Years of Development. (It finally worked, after wasting this much time, effort & $$ on it.)

Energy Saving. (if you keep the power off.) Actually, “We’ll sell you a Solar Panel, at a high $$, so you’ll save pennies for every $$ you spend”.

No Maintenance. (Impossible to fix)

Low Maintenance. (Nearly impossible to fix)

Fax me the data. (I’m too lazy to write it down.)

We are following the standard! (That’s the way we have always done it and we’re too lazy to try anything else.)

I didn’t get your Email. (I haven’t checked my Email for days, because I’ve been in the Lab – trying to invent, the next “great” thing.)

Comments: What do you think of these? Do you have Terms you’d like to add?